Kellyann Conway Goes Catatonic On 'Morning Joe'
When she first appeared on the scene, Kellyann Conway (right) was a fast-talking firebrand who effectively defended Donald Trump's most controversial
comments, making her a reliable surrogate to keep the President's agenda understandably, focused and on track.
But yesterday morning, the Counselor to the President went completely catatonic on "Morning Joe", forcing Joe Scarborough to go to an unscheduled commercial break and leaving those in the MSNBC news studios searching for answers.
And here is the remark made by President Trump that Kellyann Conway was defending during her appearance on "Morning Joe":
"All of the ethnicities in America must find the time to combat terrorism in their own communities. Now, how will they make the time? Well, the Jews can take a break from turning a buck, the African-American
community can ease up on the perms they're always getting and the Italians can spend less time making meatballs. It's that simple."
And when pressed by Joe Scarborough to fully explain the President's comment, Kellyann Conway, in her snappy manner, and on her way to becoming catatonic, said the following:
"Well first off, Bill, in regard to the 'turning a buck' remark, President Trump was, in his own way, praising the Jewish community in America for their role in repeatedly stimulating the economy, and I personally take offense that you would think that our Commander-In-Chief was stereotyping a highly valued segment of our population..
Secondly, when President Trump said 'the African-American community can 'ease up on the perms they're always getting', what did he exactly mean by 'perm'? Was he referring to Perm, an industrial city in Russia in the western foothills of the Ural Mountains, or was he using the word 'perm' as the abbreviation for 'permutation', which means 'the process of altering the order of a given set of objects in a group'..
And lastly, Bill, when President Trump said 'Italians can spend less time making meatballs' , I'm deeply distressed that you would imply that our President was in any way, shape of form belittling the Italian community in America. He wasn't. Why? Because the term 'meatball' is very vague. For example, in the Netherlands, meatballs are called 'gehaktbal', In Portugal, they're know as 'almôndegas'. And in Pakistan people refer to them as 'koftas'. And back here in America, if a meatball is made without Italian meat, is the bias liberal media still going to think that President Trump insulted-"
And "insulted" was the last word Kelly Ann Conway uttered before falling into her catatonic state, causing her to stare into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights, prompting fifteen-seconds of 'dead-air' on MSNBC.
An hour later, Kellyann Conway, still catatonic but somehow managing to sing country western songs with titles such as "I Changed His Oil, He Changed
My Life" and "He's Acting Single While I'm Drinkin' Doubles", arrived at the St. Frances Psychiatric Hospital in upstate New York to undergo a complete psychiatric evaluation.
"The poor child demonstrates all diagnostic criteria needed to be labeled 'catatonic'," said Dr. Emile Von Schelppenhauser (left), the Chief of Psychiatry at St. Frances. "But I don't believe I've ever seen such a high level of chronic stupor in my entire life. And the cause for such dire behavior," Dr. Schelppenhauser
added, "..is clearly due to one being consistently asked to clarify that which is categorically un-clarifiable..
And as far as Miss Conway singing country music songs in route to the hospital is concerned," the Doctor further stated, "..when flung into the diabolical throws of catatonia, some patients act-out what they truly wanted to do in life, and I can state with certainty that Miss Conway's "road not taken" would have led to her becoming a country music star, much like your Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette and Emmylou Harris. Yet in spite of the unrealized dream," Dr. Schelppenhauser concluded. "There is a silver lining here because Kelly Ann Conway will no longer have to deal with the psychotic Donald Trump."
Kellyann Conway remains at Saint Frances Psychiatric Hospital where she is, in lieu of "no improvement whatsoever", currently being utilized as a door stop.