White House Releases 'Final Report' On What President Trump Really Meant By "Wiretappin
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer delivered his much anticipated 'Final Report' yesterday on what President Trump actually
meant when he claimed "former President Barack Obama had wire-tapped Trump Tower during the 2016 presidential campaign".
"First off", Mr. Spicer (right) said while biting his lip to prevent himself from laughing, "When the President said 'Trump Tower', he was referring to his
'tower heater' he uses when he only wants to warm up one room at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida..
Secondly, when Mr. Trump used the word 'wire', he was alluding to the high-wire at Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Baily Circus he used to look up at with excitement as a boy..
And lastly, when the President said "tapping", it was his roundabout way of stating he always wished that the great Gregory Hines had tap danced on that very same high-wire..
So, to surmise," Mr. Spicer concluded as his nose grew two inches, "When Donald Trump claimed that Barack Obama had illegally wiretapped Trump Tower, what he actually meant was he likes to save money on keeping warm, the high-wire acts at the circus were fantastic and Gregory Hines was vastly underrated, and by extension, talking incredibly broadly about how Gregory Hines should have won as Oscar for his performance in 'The Cotton Club'. Thank you very much."
And with that, Mr. Spicer left the podium leaving the entire White House Press Corps more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.