A Movie Critic Praises An Underrated Actor

Legendary film critic Jeffry Lyons (left) broke ranks with all other movie reviewers on earth yesterday by claiming the acting career of Lou Ferrigno was vastly minimized.

"Lou is one of Hollywood's greatest actors" he said while playing with a Hulk Action Figure. "And anyone will reach the same conclusion by simply reviewing his impressive filmography."

Mr. Lyons was first mesmerized by Lou Ferrigno via his first film performance in the 1983 movie "Hercules".

"Lou was fantastic as the son of Zeus" Mr. Lyons explained. "And even though his voice was dubbed by an actor who could pronounce the

letter 'R', it didn't matter because most of the dialogue in the film was drowned out by the electronica music. And furthermore", Mr. Lyons went on to say, "Even though nothing made sense in "Hercules", Lou, via his brilliant performance, still managed to fire a warning shot towards Tom Hanks."

Mr. Lyons had equal praise for Lou Ferrigno's performance in the 1989 TV movie "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk".

"As far as legal dramas go," he stated while playing with an Incredible Hulk yo-yo. "I'd put 'The Trial of the Incredible Hulk' right up there with "A Few Good Men", "Absence of Malice" and "The

Verdict. But moreover," Mr. Lyons added."Lou clearly stole the movie from Bill Bixby, achieved by utilizing the 'Stravinsky Method' of acting, evident when "The Hulk" single-handedly demolished a courtroom."

Mr.Lyons also cheered Mr. Ferrigno's latest film, "Instant Death", where the former bodybuilder plays the role of Special Forces veteran John Bradley, a man hellbent on viciously taking down the world's most violent drug cartel, even if a slew of innocent bystanders get killed along the way.

"It's a role that makes Lou less of as an 'actor' and more of a 'thespian' Mr. Lyons said. "And in 'Instant Death', Lou switched to the 'Meisner Acting Technique', discernible when Agent Bradley brutally slaughters fifty drug kingpins with a machine gun, all while now being able to correctly pronounce the letter 'R' - quite noticeable when the actor performed the line, "Relinquish your rifles and release my Rebecca you rambunctious rat bastards!"

Spoofeteria has seen "Instant Death", and Mr. Ferrigno has indeed learned how to flawlessly pronounce the letter "R".

"So when you add it all up," Mr. Lyons concluded, "Lou is ready to tackle Shakespeare. Maybe 'Othello'. Or even 'Romeo & Juliet', where Lou could play a 'Romeo' who works out everyday for 14 hours and then spends another 3 hours drinking those muscle-building shakes, leading to Romeo & Juliet committing suicide because Romeo is at the gym all the time and Juliet is lonely - all of it stockpiling into a modern-day version of the classic."

When asked to further comment on his updated (and questionable) version of "Romeo & Juliet" starring Lou Ferrigno, Mr. Lyons literally 'ran to the theater' to go see "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! 4" starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Tori Spelling and Betty White.